The Indian Wells-Miami section of the tour is a great stretch for tennis fans. Most of the top players on the ATP and WTA play both events and great matches abound. It also leads to talk of a “Fifth Major” status for one or the other event. This talk is not limited to these two locales. Many people claim the Italian Open or Masters Roma is the fifth major. During Olympic years, the winner of the gold medal is often discussed as having won the fifth most important event of the year. What about the World Tour Finals/Masters Cup/ATP World Championships/Masters held at the end of each season? Is it the fifth most important tournament? Doesn’t BNP Paribas, who now sponsors Indian Wells, also sponsor and have longer ties with the Bercy in the fall? Is it then the fifth major?
Does Monte Carlo get Consideration or is it a Masters Emeritus?
Hypothetical Rules for a Permanent 5th Major Designation
The World Tour Finals Despite Offering the Most Computer Points Outside of the Slams is a Different Animal so the WTF is not a Major
During Olympic Years – The Gold Medalist Holds the 5th Major
During Non-Olympic Years the Tournament with the Best Draw, Best Amenities and Highest Prize Money is the 5th Major
Ignore the Defunct Volvo International and WCT Finals in Dallas Having Once Been Prestigious
Ignore the Growth of Tennis in Asia Despite China having 5th Major Potential
More Trouble than it is Worth
I’d rather listen to “A Fifth of Beethoven” than figure out what is the 5th most important tournament. The Grand Slams have some normative status. If a player, like the young Agassi, skipped Wimbledon for several years, it would still be Wimbledon. Carlos Moya won the Masters Roma title in 2004 and won Masters Cincinnati in 2002. Moya likely places his Rome title just below his 1998 Roland Garros title and Spain’s 2004 Davis Cup win. Andy Roddick would likely value his Masters Miami, Canada and Cincinnati titles more than any clay court title outside of the French Open. Views on the most important titles shift a great deal depending upon a player’s surface preference.
For better or worse, all four Grand Slams have importance that is a given at least since Pete Sampras made breaking Roy Emmerson’s record a public goal. It is great that Indian Wells is voted as a player favorite venue right now, but that does not confer upon it an added quality to my mind. It is a great tournament and should just work at staying that way. Indianapolis was praised in John Feinstein’s book Hard Courts that chronicled the tour in 1990.* Indianapolis was sponsored by RCA at that time, and players loved the event due to having access to virtual reality and other audio visual prototypes that RCA was developing. Less than 25 years later, the Indianapolis Tennis Center is now gone, as in plowed under, and a basketball arena sits in its place. So long as Indian Wells and Key Biscayne/Miami keep holding great tennis events and don’t get plowed under, I will be happy.
Better Days for Tennis in Indianapolis
* – Feinstein referred to Key Biscayne/Miami as the 5th major in 1990. Therefore if Indian Wells is now the 5th major, it stands to reason that this title is a short term distinction at best.
The recent controversy about Caroline Wozniacki’s impersonation of Serena Williams got me thinking about the history of impersonating a player’s ticks or idiosyncrasies. My mind initially thought that Jonas Bjorkman was the progenitor of this fad. His rain delay US Open fodder of lighthearted imitations did indeed pave the way to Djokovic’s 2007 US Open impersonation tour. However, a more contentious and longer history came into my mind the more I thought about the topic. It is doubtful that Rod Laver ever impersonated John Newcombe, but since the late 1980′s impersonations have popped up and generally engendered bad feelings.
1988 – Boris Becker Imitates and Gets Imitated by Pat Cash
Boris Becker won Wimbledon in 1985 and 1986. Pat Cash was the defending champion having claimed the title in 1987. Their 1988 quarterfinal round battle lived up to the hype, but not because of the tennis. Becker won the match routinely 6-4, 6-3, 6-4. Here is how Mitch Album described the memorable events on June 30, 1988:
Well. Let us take you to the second set Wednesday: Becker was leading, 4-1, and Cash came charging, hit a volley winner — and fell over the net.
Fell over the net? Yes. And Becker got so excited, he somersaulted over the net as well. Wheee. Are we having fun, or what? Now we had two guys on the wrong side. Becker was kidding. He offered his hand. Cash was serious. He offered his thoughts.
“What did he say?” someone asked Becker.
“I don’t think I should repeat it,” Becker said. “He taught me some new words in English.”
And the girls screamed. Cash wigs out after losing
But wait. Before you castigate Cash for being a poor sport, let us take you now to the post-game press conference — after Becker had humbled Cash in two hours and 17 minutes. Everyone figured the moody, broody Australian wouldn’t show, right? He had just lost his title.
But here he came, wearing a red punk-rock wig, all spikes and points. The kind that makes you look like Son of Porcupine.
1988 – Agassi Ticks off Connors and McEnroe Simultaneously
Andre Agassi’s first US Open tilt with Jimmy Connors was seen as a passing of the torch as Agassi would assume the mantle as the top US born player. John McEnroe was watching as well. At some point during the match, Agassi imitated McEnroe’s serving motion, an act that infuriated Johnny Mac. Agassi’s post-match comments angered Connors into making a biting paternity joke. Agassi did win the match 6-2, 7-6, 6-1.
1989 – Boris Becker gets Imitated by McEnroe
Boris Becker defeated John McEnroe in an epic Davis Cup encounter in Hartford, Connecticut in 1987 4-6, 15-13, 8-10, 6-2, 6-2. Even before that match, McEnroe and Becker had exchanged tense words and stares dating back to their first match. McEnroe’s autobiography You Cannot Be Serious describes their relationship as generally being that of friendly rivals. At times, tensions did boil over. McEnroe saw fit to challenge perceived gamesmanship on Becker’s part during their semifinal encounter at the 1989 Paris Indoor. McEnroe loudly coughed in response to Boris Becker’s characteristic cough. At a changeover, Becker asked for compassion, and McEnroe retorted that Becker had been sick since 1985. McEnroe calling Becker out for gamesmanship in this manner did not endear him to the crowd and helped inspire Becker to a 7-6, 3-6, 6-3 victory. McEnroe even recounted that this event led to a post-match argument with his first wife.
1998 – Andre Agassi Mocks Karol Kucera
Karol Kucera had a great season in 1998. He reached an Australian Open semifinal and a US open quarterfinal. Along the way, Kucera dispatched of Andre Agassi in the 1998 US Open round of 16 6-3, 6-3, 6-7, 1-6, 6-3. Kucera’s return of serve and ability to change the pace and direction of the ball during a rally mystified Agassi. Head games were the only thing that made this match close. Agassi, irritated by either the scoreline or Kucera’s frequently errant service toss, began to imitate a Kucera. Agassi timidly approached the service line and mockingly attempted to toss the ball. Beyond that, Agassi hit moonballs to his upstart opponent. These tactics unnerved Kucera and helped the match extend to 5 sets. Personally, this is the lowest moment of tennis imitations that I can remember. Agassi was simply trying to throw his opponent off through mockery.
The Sampras-Agassi Hit for Haiti Debacle
The first Hit or Haiti was an unqualified success. Major world athletes threw together an enjoyable charity event without the meddling hands of sponsors and agents. It was a feel good event. When Pete Sampras and Andre Agassi were added to the mix for a sequel charity doubles match, things looked great, right? Who would not want to see all-court maestro’s Roger Federer and Pete Sampras take on two men who revolutionized backcourt tennis in Andre Agassi and Rafael Nadal? It did not live up to the hype.
“That aint personal.” (?)
Sampras and Agassi already had some bad blood from Agassi’s recently published autobiography Open. Agassi did not take Sampras’ imitation well and threw out a tasteless imitation implying that Pete is cheap. Sampras went head hunting, and Agassi still pressed his claim of Sampras’ stinginess.
Lessons?
Boris Becker attempted a funny net dive when playing Pat Cash and was repaid by Cash wearing an ugly red wig?!?! John McEnroe’s impersonation of Becker helped to inspire his opponent to victory and started an argument with his then wife. Andre Agassi angered or incited John McEnroe and Karol Kucera with impersonations. Agassi responded badly to Pete Sampras impersonating him. This spiraled to a tit for tat impersonation that managed to ruin a fundraiser for a natural disaster. Caroline Wozniacki, as well as Andy Roddick and Novak Djokovic, have made questionable imitations of Serena Williams’ body-type.
My advice is that unless an impersonation serves a purpose and is obviously approved of by the player being mimicked (a la Djokovic’s take on Guga) to not do imitations. My main reason for saying this is not that charitable events or marriages might be threatened. My advice for not doing imitations stems from the fact that impersonations have been done to death and are not terribly comical (Gustavo Djokovic aside). If comedy is not funny, what is it?
The Exception that Proves the Rule? (No Impersonations Unless They are This Funny?)
A lot of good can be said about how hard Thomas Muster worked on and off of the tennis court. Muster is best know for his perseverance to overcome a freak knee injury and his amazing clay court play in 1995. Muster played a sort of visceral tennis that often looked like he was trying to mug his opponent in a street fight. I saw Muster mix it up with Andre Agassi, Boris Becker, and Brad Gilbert.
After his first retirement, I thought Muster might make a good coach or consultant for Roger Federer in 2007 as Federer tried to figure out how to play against another left-handed monster in Rafael Nadal. I figured that the Austrian and the Swiss each spoke German and that Muster could help Federer in the way that Tony Roche helped Ivan Lendl figure out the left-handed John McEnroe.
I doubt Federer at 30 is going to make any huge coaching moves. Still, I think Muster could be an excellent coach if he so desired. Muster’s working with Thomaz Bellucci or even Grigor Dimitrov might help each player figure out how to play a more muscular and disciplined brand of tennis. Who would be better at helping younger players understand the physical sacrifices needed to make it to the elite tier of the game? All I am saying to Muster is “Happy Re-Retirement” but don’t stay gone for too long.
Every October James Rolfe reviews one monster movie per day in his Monster Madness feature. This year he started off with Frankenstein. I thought it would be fun to stitch together the best shots in tennis and imagine animating these amalgamation players.
The Rules
Four tennis monsters will be created. Only one stroke/aspect can be used from a given player. The four monsters will be right handed players with one-handed backhands, right handed players with two-handed backhands, left handed players with one-handed backhands and left handed players with two-handed backhands.
Right Handed Players w/ One-Handed Backhands
1st Serve – Richard Krajicek
2nd Serve – Pete Sampras
Return of Serve – Ivan Lendl
Backhand – Gustavo Kuerten
Forehand – Roger Federer
Net Play – Stefan Edberg
Overhead – Boris Becker
Pete Sampras gets the second serve slot because it is the most important shot in tennis, and Pete hit so many clutch second serves. Obviously, Sampras, Federer, Krajicek, Becker and Stich could all get worked around in different slots. If Guga’s backhand is considered to be too loopy to mesh well with the other players listed, Stich, Haas, Ljubicic or Gasquet could be placed into that slot.
Right Handed Players w/ Two-Handed Backhands
1st Serve – John Isner
2nd Serve – Andy Roddick
Return of Serve – Andre Agassi
Backhand – Novak Djokovic
Forehand – Bjorn Borg
Net Play – Jonas Bjorkman
Overhead – Marat Safin
Juan Martin del Potro could be worked in at the forehand slot, but Bjorn Borg has to be on this list somewhere. Djokovic and Safin could each get the backhand award so I gave Safin the overhead slot.
Left Handed Players w/ One-Handed Backhands
1st Serve – Roscoe Tanner
2nd Serve – Rod Laver
Return of Serve – Henri Leconte
Backhand – Petr Korda
Forehand – Thomas Muster
Net Play – John McEnroe
Overhead – Guy Forget
Andres Gomez and Guillermo Vilas likely could be worked in over and above some of these players. Also, Laver does not win two Grand Slams with a weak second serve.
Left Handed Players w/ Two Handed Backhands
1st Serve – Goran Ivanisevic
2nd Serve – Thomaz Bellucci
Return of Serve – Jimmy Connors
Backhand – Marcelo Rios
Forehand – Rafael Nadal
Net Play - Fernando Verdasco
Overhead – Jurgen Melzer
For this one Nadal and Connors would fill most categories (minus Goran’s serve of course) if my self-imposed rules allowed for more than one shot/aspect of a particular player to be used. If I could use players multiple times it would be first serve, second serve and maybe overhead to Goran, return of serve and backhand to Jimbo and forehand and net play to Rafa. It was just hard coming up with enough two-handed lefties even with Donald Young’s resurgence.
The Winner?
Just based on population numbers the lefties may not have enough guys to fill each aspect/shot as well as one would hope. Still, I think a player with Sampras’ second serve, Federer’s forehand, Edberg’s net play, Guga’s backhand, Lendl’s return, Becker’s overhead and Krajicek’s first serve would be hard to beat off of clay.
Some highlights from their final encounter in Tokyo. A good sign for Murray who looks poised to rise to #3 in the world. Still, 3 Grand Slam semifinal losses to Nadal keep the edge in Rafa’s corner in big matches until Murray proves otherwise.
