Having a kid changes the way you watch live tennis.

Pre-progeny, I’d hunker down in Rod Laver Arena all day, working those neck muscles left, right for hours on end, me and 15,000 people getting into the soporific rhythm of summer tennis.

You’d have time to study the nuances of the game, the tweaks players have made to their strokes, their shot selection, their degree of comfort on the court.

It was total immersion. It was heaven.

Post-progeny, with said offspring in tow, it’s a different ball game. Here’s how it goes.

You buy a three-day ground pass for the Australian Open for $90. Which is just about the best entertainment money can buy.

First and foremost, leave any fantasy you have about watching an entire match at the gates. If you try to inflict that on a child, it’ll end in tears. Yours and theirs.

Head straight to the…